Division

“If there ever comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known.” - Matthew Arnold

The other day I was online reading an article about division among women within the body of the church. The narrative was built around the age old struggle of working mothers versus stay at home mothers. The writer beautifully articulated how we should not be at odds with one another because all jobs, whether in the home or at the office, bring glory to God. I said “Amen, sister!” and then I did what one does when feeling positive about the world - I clicked on “View Comments” to see what people were saying.

Ladies. Sigh. LADIES.

One by one, I read as women hurled insults at each other online. Everything from remarks that implied that working mothers don’t care who they leave their children with to stay at home mothers are bitter to have no other purpose than to bear children (what?!). It was heartbreaking. It was also not unfamiliar to me as I have seen this many times - both inside and outside of the church. I honestly have no idea what it is we are doing to each other by perpetuating this kind of division, but I can say with certainty that this was not God’s design for women. I am very well aware of the fact the some of this stems from scripture, and we are at odds as to exactly what roles women should be taking on in life. I know the frame of reference typically comes from 1 Timothy in which Paul is stating that women should not be permitted to teach men and should remain silent. What is commonly neglected about the context of this passage is that Paul was addressing one church specifically with regards to the women there, and the issues they were having there. Elsewhere he recognizes women who were teaching alongside him in a positive - and equal, light.

But I’m not here to debate that point, because the real issue goes much deeper than that.

I have often seen women who bathe in the title of feminist as though they were holy anointed with it behave with nothing but contempt for their own gender. They insult, demean, degrade and antagonize the very sex they claim to also advocate for. I see these same women marching for the rights that they want, but are absent when it comes to the issue of our bodies being trafficked globally.

We are divided in a world that is desperately crying out for our help.

Instead, we operate under constant resentment and jealousy of one another. My greatest adversaries both in life and at work have not been men - quite the contrary - men have been my greatest advocates. No, my hurdles have almost exclusively involved other women. And I say that despite having been blessed with some of the best female friends a girl could ever hope to have. The other side of that world, however, is one without love, without encouragement and it seems, well, cutthroat.

Ladies, when you see a female colleague or acquaintance or even a stranger succeeding, you should be celebrating. Resentment has no place here, because her success is not your failure. It seems almost ludicrous to have to say this, but there is plenty of opportunity to make your mark. What she has taken from the world she has not taken from you - there’s more than enough of it go around. One of my best friends, Sandy, is a Muslim, and given the current religious tensions we have every reason to not get along. But because we approach our friendship with open hearts and understanding, there is nothing but love there. When she’s sad, I’m sad. When she succeeds, we both do. There is no competition - there is only encouragement and support. And this should extend not just to each other as women, but to all. Paul says it best in 2 Corinthians 10:12:

“When they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”

He’s talking about men and women there, by the way. Comparison is the thief of all joy, and it’s something we have been doing for eons. When Paul says we are without understanding, he means that we have become so absorbed by our differences in a negative context that we fail to recognize and celebrate what those differences mean. Yes, men and women are very different. Consequently, it creates a balance of what we can offer to the world. For that reason I don’t think there has ever been a time as important as this for coming together. First, as women and then as human beings. I don’t generally consider myself a feminist - I would first and foremost claim to be a humanist. But I will say that I am happy to be a woman, because I think we have been endowed by our Creator with many gifts and abilities that only we can carry. The days we are living in now are becoming more violent, more dangerous and we continue to bring children into it. Hearts have been hardened, and the world has taken on a dark edge. It needs to be softened. I have seen and felt God moving in a way that is undeniable - women everywhere are beginning to step up and take their place. They are making a difference, they are standing up for humanity, they are fighting with love. And everything they touch is causing a ripple effect. It’s trickling down to the rest of us who have a voice but were unsure if we should use it. Women like Christine Caine, Lisa Bevere and Lysa TerKeurst are paving the way for the rest of us and it is a beautiful, magnificent thing. One might even say miraculous. It is movement. And now I leave you with a final thought from one of my personal heroes and everyone’s favorite neighbor:

"As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has--or ever will have--something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression." - Mr. Fred Rogers

Amen.